I need bigger boobs

The Mavericks employees are getting flown out to the game on Sunday night and getting free tickets from the team. I knew that I wasn't gonna be able to go because I am classified as a 'part-time employee'. It's kinda crap anyway since I worked 100 hours last two weeks, but it's the classification of my position and I was over it. Until today. I was getting all the shirts that the employees were gonna wear to the game on Sunday together and noticed that 2 interns were on the list of people who needed shirts. I have been with the organization longer than both of them, work more than them, and since I get a paycheck and they don't I believe I get paid more than them...but apparently my boobs aren't big enough. They are two attractive 20 year old females and get to go on this free trip but poor little ole me gets to stay at home and watch it on tv. Either I need bigger boobs or we need some horny female VP's so I can hit on them! but I guess that's just the way the world works...just have to prove my worth the old fashion way.

sorry...

And we were singing
bye bye mr. mustache guy
took the razor to your face
now the stache is replaced
them good ole boys were laughing and cryin
singing this'll be the day that it died.

Yes everyone I'm sorry to upset the masses...but I shaved the stache. Two days ago I looked in the mirror and realized it wasn't funny anymore, but begining to get creepy. It was so creepy I almost signed myself up for the local sex offenders list in my city. An intelligent and fun to look at young lady said something very appropriate for the situation "A mustache has never added to the look of anyone...can you picture someone who you can say, you know that guy would look better with a mustache?"

So there it is my experiment and therefore the laughs are over. I'll try to keep the masses entertained but using a less...sex offenderish route.

World cup rant

In the 6th minute!!?? So you're the 5th ranked team in the world and you get your freaking medicine in the most important game of your lives? I can't believe how horrible the United States national team played today. In their 3-0 loss they seemed as if they had never played a game together before in their lives.

Here's what needs to happen before the USA can be a soccer power:

1. Play real competition. You can't win 30 games against 3rd world countries and then come into a world cup and expect to be ready for competition. Go play in Europe, go play Brazil...so what if you lose, you will learn the standard.

2. Have a clue what to do with the ball. The US didn't know what to do with the ball once they recieved it. The Czechs were moving passing and being so creative...it was a clinic for the midfield.

3. Teach the beauty of the game and not the arrogant US image of "you need to score for people to want to watch/play the game". Soccer is a beautiful game and we need to play it as if it is so.

I'm pissed.

Chics might not dig the stache

I don't grow facial too fast so it is taking some time but it is still looking pretty funny. I don't know how much longer I can take it but...it's funny so I'll let it slide.

Day 10

Chicks dig the stache

Well I've decided that it is time to grow a mustache. Not for the reasons you might think; it looks cool, some girl wants me to do it, I think I'm burt reynolds. I'm not doing it for any of those reasons, but because it will look hilarious! Yes folks I am putting myself at the hands of comedy. If you're mad that you won't be able to see the humor...WAIT! I will photo-document the process. Enjoy!!

Day 1

Day 3

Hump day

wow what a finish to a boring ass day...So I get to work today and we called in extra help for an average amount of work to get done. I decided I was gonna leave early and since I was sitting on the table playing with the tape guns...the man incharge felt that was okay. I thought (remember this is just a thought) hey it's 4 o'clock and I got nothing left to do today, gonna go fix myself some food watch a little tv, hit up a little myspace action, then knock out a good hour or two at the gym...WRONG!

On the way home I realized that my truck was very near overheating and when I turned on the heater to cool off the engine (yes it does work try it, it could save you thousands) it only blew out cold air...problem number 1.

So I figured that was a priority for the evening. I went to the bank to deposit my checks and get a money order for rent tomorrow (the damn bank hasn't sent me my checks yet) they were only open through drive-thru and guess what...they only give money orders inside (but that was closed AT FREAKIN 4:30PM!!!...problem number 2

Well at least I got the money in the bank I can use my lunch break to get the rent money, not that bad. I then proceed to find someone to check out my vehicle. Turns out my radiator was cracked and i was probably about a day or two from a blown head gasket ($3000 to fix). A cracked radiator sux but at least it aint three grand...problem number 3

I make an unsufficient amount of money to have "hey someday my radiator might crack and I could be (for lack of a better word) thunderfucked (yes it is one word)" funds available...problem number 4

Gotta rent a car cause one of the busiest days of the year at work will be tomorrow before game 5, and need to be there. So I got a car reserved but need a car to get there...doesn't make much sense does it? Apparently the airport enterprise doesn't abide by the famous advertising slogan of "We'll pick you up"...problem number 5

The crazy ass chinaman that drove me to the airport knows about 7 english words so hand signals were very valuable...but apparently road signs weren't on the test to aquire his visa! I was about 2 seconds from losing my right leg and most likely breathing from a tube for the rest of my life. Oh how I love anit lock breaks!...problem number 6

I get to the rental car place...and they don't take debit cards from local renters. Why? I don't know they don't like money or something...problem number 7

Well if you've been following along (you like how I pretend like have all sorts of readers who are following along with my life? Even though I know I don't, the last post was only checked 8 times) I was just presented with 7 problems here are their solutions in the appropriate order; called dad he said not good so i stopped driving asap, i get to spend my lunch break tomorrow at a bank of america, at least I caught it in time, dad does make enough money to have "hey my son's vehicle might have a radiator crack some day, crazy chinaman drove me there, seriously I almost died, i have primetiime negotiating skills. So it is now almost 9 and I'm beat...WTF just happened to my sweet ass evening? Good thing today was hump day!

An easier goodbye

This weekend my parents came up to see me, and it was great. I tried hard to be a good host and take em' to do stuff but it's hard when all you do is go to school and work (don't really know any 'tourist' stuff to do). But more importantly than having things to do it was just important to be around family. I spend all my time with the people at work or the computer, and while I really like my friends at work, it's not home. They are the friends I've grown up with or more importantly they are my brothers, whom I also miss dearly. My parents provide me a piece of home away from home...green chile can only do so much. And really they gave me a chance to see them, I can't believe I've already been out here 4 months and the thing I miss most is the family, from the parents to the sister, and yes even all the way down to the puppies (are they even puppies anymore?). It was instilled in me early that family is more important than anything else in life and I completely understand why, now that I am away from home (if you don't know...you need to find out).

The weekend was great, relaxing and all I could ask for (even all the sweet left overs). But the thing that was odd for me and I think will stick with me the most from this trip was how easy the goodbye was. I've had to say goodbye now 4 times to my parents either leaving home or them leaving here. The goodbye wasn't easy cause we were tired of eachother or we don't care. It seemed the goodbye was so easy cause we have slowly become desensitized to it. Is that a good thing? Does it matter? I kinda liked that the goodbyes were so sad, it made the time seem more important. I'm not saying I would like a tear jerking goodbye 'session' everytime there is a goodbye because it just doesn't work that way. I think we has humans have the ability to let things that we do more often not effect us; a doctor who has a paitent die, a star athlete who lets his team down, a family that says goodbye a lot. I know the goodbyes will continually get easier...it's just a fact of life and our ability to cope. I do think that it is important to realize how important moments in our lives are and not let them slip by the wayside just cause..."ya we've seen that before". So for now I guess I will just have to deal with an easier goodbye.

More Funny pictures

Here's more pictoral goodies for my humor loving fans...sorry this is all I got. I figured the last picture in this set was a fitting "finish".

Well you know what they say...A picture is worth a thousand words. Here is 5,000 of the funniest words I've ever written...I'm gonna add more too (they only let me download 5 at a time).

A different perspective

A different perspective...is what I've been given here in 'big D'. I was yanked, by my own accord, but yanked none the less from the friendly confines of the 5o5. Now at the 3 month mark I have had the opportunity to see and experience several new things.

For those of you who don't know I was just hired on with the Dallas Mavericks. I am thankful I've been given an opportunity in the industry I want to be in, to show how great I really am. I know that if I work, like I have my whole life I will be successful with the Mavericks and the sports industry.

Now, being that I am from a relatively small city, when compared to Dallas, there are few things I have noticed in the past month or so. Along with my new job comes a drive into the heart of downtown Dallas every morning...a great site. The view is very dramatic and for those of you who take for granted the skylines in big cities look again. It seems so powerful, so grand and unforgiving, but it is everything American, what we preach to the world. Its great. Also I get to drive by Texas Stadium everymorning...not the prettiest stadium in the country, but Gods favorite team plays there so it can't be all that bad right?

Summer trimesters started today; work, school, sleep, that's about it for 12 weeks. At least for the weekdays. With this job comes new friends and a new "life", I get to go out, go to basketball games, do stuff, meet people, live from a different perspective.

on the friendship market

Well hello everybody! So what's new in Texas? Well a few things are new actually. I just had a job interview with the Dallas Mavericks on Wednesday. I think it went pretty well, they said they are going to call next week (I feel like a school girl waiting for her crush to call here cause he said he would). So I'll wait by that phone all day Monday, wondering...they like me, they like me not, they like me, they like me not, they like me.

As for school I'm finishing up this semester and I'm actually quite impressed with myself. I will finish this semester with a 3.5 most likely, so that's good.

I did see a TV show that almost mirrored my "no friend" situation. On the show 'Yes, Dear', the lead character is a mid to late 30 year old guy who hasn't done much socializing since getting married. In this episode he realizes he doesn't have any friends anymore. He explains how weird it is for guys to just "make friends". That being said he is completly right, but I think I made a friend. It was a little weird. During the break from my class tonight we were talking outside and it was almost like trying to get a date with a girl (get all your stupid homo jokes out of your head right now). It must have looked and sounded pretty ridiculous, but we started talking about stuff we do for fun, and well I don't do anything cause I don't know anyone...he wants to be my friend LOL! I wanted to laugh so bad but I held back, so were gonna go to a strip club or a bar next weekend after our final, hey at least I got something to do. The funniest part was when he asked for my number...seriously guys should not have to make friends after the age of 22 it's just plain weird.

Shame on you!

Sorry to keep my fans waiting (if anyone even reads this), I took a little break from blogging to, like study and stuff...but I'm back bitches!

So after a short hiadeous what should I talk about...how about misconceptions? So what do I mean about misconceptions? The Duke Mens' Lacrosse team, the guys who raped that girl, right? Wrong! Isn't this the land of the free, the home of the brave and the place where you are innocent until proven guilty? Today as I was watching Sports Center I saw something that made me laugh hysterically, not cause it was funny, but becuase it finally shuts up all of the uninformed persecuters. Of the 46 men who gave DNA samples to the North Carolina district attorneys office ZERO matches were found. That's right ladies and gentlemen...ZERO! So for all of you who were part of the jury that already convicted them in the court of publich opinion, and especially those of you who protested on the Duke campus, apoligize. Don't apoligize to me or the lacrosse team, apoligize to your country for going against all that we stand for. Sure it's your right to protest, and I respect that 100%, but wait till you know what the hell you're talking about first (not too much to ask for right?). So what happens to these young mens lives? Guess what they're rapists not because they are but because someone said so...the near future for these young men is ruined. All 46 of them will be rapists in that community until...I dunno...another J.J. Reddick comes along. It's unfair and not what, we Americans, are supposed to be about, so to those of you who had them already guilty...SHAME ON YOU.

friends

the chairs all are empty the last guest has gone
the candles burn lower and lower
and sputter on and on
but after the last guest departed
haunting the smoke laden air
remaineth a lingering presence
the ghose of good fellowship rare
Friends, friends, friends
You and I will be
whether in fair or in dark stormy weather
we'll stand or we'll fall together.

That's about the best way I can describe it. Nothing like a good ole SAE song to define something for ya. Like I said it was nice to be back home and here is my blog on my buddies.

I didn't even seem like I was gone but a day or two. It is odd how nothing ever changes when you're with true friends. Seeing everybody was great. Love you guys. PA.

the 5 o 5.

So as some of you may know I went back home this weekend for my birthday. I have a ton of stuff to talk about, but I know this probably won't be read unless I break it up into small parts. So this post will be about the family, the next about the friends, and then the last will be about V for Vendetta...it was great, then I might throw down with a post just about the 5 o 5 in general.

It felt so good to be home again. It had been two months and boy was I home sick. I didn't think I would miss everything so much. Seeing my Mom at the airport was great, nothing like the first thing you do back home, being giving your mom a hug. Seeing my sister was also great, you don't realize how close you are to a sibling till you don't see them everyday. And seeing Dad was of course great as well, we got to go to a game in the best basketball arena and one of my favorite places in the world, the PIT (unfortunately the lobos didn't make it to that round).

Just sitting around and watching TV was very relaxing for me, I was surrounded by the people I love and it is a better feeling then you realize. So without getting too mushy, sit back and think of how important your family is to you cause when you're gone for a prolonged period of time, you come to realize they're importance.

So kids stay tuned for details on my adventure in the 5o5, cause there's more to come.

house keeping issues...

So I get to go home tomorrow and I'm so excited you have no idea, but there are some other things I got to get out there:

Does anybody know who Mr. Bean is? Well I found him, that's right, he bags my groceries at Tom Thumb in Irving. I will never change grocery stores cause it's too damn funny I want to go shopping everyday....damn he's funny.

The whole pay it forward thing...I had a response from an older wiser SAE on that, he said he leaves his change in the vending machines when he gets something...cause seriously how cool is it when you find change! So I did it today I had to make copies for a presentation I had today and I left $.50 in the copy machine at the library...the equivelent to 5 copies, it's not a big deal but just think how awesome that will be for a stressed out coed when they find it!

Now for the deep stuff (you know you can't go that long on here without me getting all deep on ya). Be HAPPY, don't be what others want you to be. Why are we all here anyway...[insert answer here] no matter what you put, nobody really knows. So in our short time here on Earth be happy, if that means getting an MBA, do it! If it means dropping out of school and writing songs, do it! If it means....whatever you get the point, do it and do it now cause that's all you have that you can reallly count on--the now.

pay it forward

Ya I know it was a movie, with a novel idea, but try it. Do something for someone, something they aren't expecting, something they aren't asking for, something nice. Do it not for them, nor for yourself, do it in hopes that it will make their day better and maybe encourage them to do something for someone else.


There is so much that people have to be miserable about, I'd mention the stuff but uh...it's not that kinda posting. Sometimes all they need is a little piece of humanity that tells or shows them how awesome life really is.


So if someone has done something nice for you recently, pay it forward. Or be the one that starts that chain of pleasantness, it'll make your day too.

"don't you think life would be awfully boring if the good times were all that we had?"-Pat Green.

uh it's wet

Ok...un...I'm from New Mexico and have never seen rain like this. I was just wondering, can I drown out here. Ya, ya I can. It seriously has been raining for like 30 straight hours, I don't think it rains any 30 hours in NM. Last night I got up at like 5am and looked out side to see what was so loud and I thought I was inside a tornado (never seen one before). I couldn't see across the parking lot and there was rain going sideways...frickin' sideways! The thunder was so loud that all the cars owned by my idiot neighboors, had their alarms going off every 15 seconds. I may be a sweetie pie, but good thing I'm not made of sugar...I'd be screwed.

NW st, UW-mil...I love it!

We are currently in the midst of the greatest 4 sports days of the year! Currently Kansas is down by 10 to Bradley, Texas (my national champion pick) is down at the half to Penn, UConn had to make a 35-9 run to squeeze out a victory against Albany. It just doesn't get any better than this.

College football needs to take note of the growing popularity of college basketball (the new American pastime) and do a tournament. Just think USC gets upset in the first round by some po dunk, ass backwards, team with more than one direction in their name, how awesome would that be? Now of course USC would probably win. But that's not what sport is all about. Sport is the ultimate reality show, these young men--I'm actually older than all of them now--must compete on the grandest of stages, at the highest level and leave their hearts and souls on the field.

March Madness, simply the greatest thing in the world for a sports fan, besides for the early games I missed on Thursday (I went to beautiful San Antonio and hung out on the river walk...quite possibly the most genious attraction a city has ever come up with) I have seen all of the games. Oh shit...school, I wonder if the University of Dallas gives "hey I was watching Northwestern state make their dreams come true at the buzzer" passes. Cause damn I need one!

So to recap...The first weekend of the mens college basketball tournament is by far the best 4 consecutive days of the year, EVERY YEAR!

the hardest thing I've ever done.

I got to thinking today about how difficult it is being on your own. So I began to ponder what was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, here are my thoughts, as I know them to be true, in chronological order: Well I would assume that the day I was born had to be pretty rough. I'm sure being born was definitely the hardest thing I had ever done. Well it was my first day of life so I guess any activity would have to be the hardest thing I've ever done. So what's next?...I guess we can clump together things like; learning to communicate (talk), learning to walk, learning to tie my shoes and all of that stuff when you're a little kid. Even though I don't remember any of those moments I'm sure at that point they were the hardest things I'd ever done. Now we're getting into the stuff I remember. My first crappy memory is when I found out my grandma died, I was like 6 or 7. I didn't understand all that stuff yet, and getting over that was definitely the hardest thing I'd ever done. Well I was never really peer pressured that much, and didn't have much trouble fitting in, so I guess I get to luckily skip those times that most people have. For the sake of time and humility I will just clump all the sports teams that said I was a step to slow or just a needed a little more skill. Taking those disappointments were the hardest things I'd ever done. [Just a side note: I started every game my senior year in soccer for a top ranked team...GET IT!] High School was a breeze...I didn't even read a book and graduated in the top 10% of my class. Seriously, what the hell are we doing in America that shouldn't be possible? Finishing my pledge ship at SAE, ya that was hard, boy was that hard. I don't think I can even count the number of times I was close to quitting. But I didn't. That semester was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Calculus...I HATE CALCULUS. NO, REALLY. I HATE CALCULUS!!!!! Heart break, yes ladies, guys go through it too. That night seemed like the longest day ever. I didn't think I could ever feel that way and didn't think I'd ever be better. That was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I'm going to group the next two together; graduating and my alumni ceremony. My alumni ceremony was one of those moments that you need to sit back and take everything in. It was a hard night for me, to leave my boys. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done.

So what's left?...You guessed it, moving to Irving. This has been a rough six weeks, I got nobody to play with, I got no job, and I got no dogs to wrestle with. I moved out here with only my determination, enthusiasm, and my perseverance. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.

In retrospect, I can tie my shoes, I'm pretty proficient at walking, I was a late bloomer athletically, I became a member of the greatest fraternity in the world, I PASSED CALCULUS, and I graduated. So I guess this too will pass...didn't someone famous say that? I'll beat this too like everything else, but F$%K this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

let me see what I can see

{transitioning from one guitar to the next, the lighting changes, the crowd sways from side to side in anticipation...following the slow guitar melody to start the song...}

Set me free
Set me free
I need a little more room to breath
And the freedom to do what I please
mama set me free
set me free
set me free
let me see what I can see
have mercy on a boy like me mama set me free

And at that point in the concert I was free. I moved out here to start my life and "see what I can see". I moved out here with the intention of doing things on my own with out the ease of Albuquerque and the help of anyone else. I enjoy the fact that if I fail or succeed it will be due to me and only me.
On Thursday night I skipped class, and the rathskeller, for a better opportunity. Reckless Kelly was playing at a bar in Denton (about 40 mins north of Irving) and I had to go see em' play. I figured finally the chance to see a Texas country band in Texas, I'm there. They played for quite some time maybe close to 2 hours and it was a great show. They played lots of songs I knew at an intimate venue of about 200 people.
You would think that moving only 10 hours away and staying, generally in the same region there wouldn't be much of a culture change...wrong. I was in culture shock for the first part of the evening. Honestly who told Texans that huge ass belt buckles your name carved in your belt was 'in style', I smell an episode of Queer eye for the Texan guy (although I'm pretty sure gay guys aren't allowed in Texas). It was acutally quite amusing to watch all of the 'cowboys' at this place. They would have definetly been made fun of back home, but here they were the norm. I didn't stick out, I don't think, but I definetly was not in "Texan" attire.
But the treat for me at the 'Rockin' Rodeo' (actual name of the place) was not the music nor the experience although, both were pretty great, but the girl. Yes ladies and gentleman Uncle Dick found himself a date last night. By the time 'set me free' came on I was already free, it was a poetic moment for me. I was here on my own with this amazing girl and ya I'm free. Free in the sense that life on my own has begun. Now it's only been one date so I'm not thinking all serious or anything but being there with her was a begining that I won't soon forget.
As I sit here and listening to music, kinda studying and watching the planes take-off outside my balcony...set me free!