The facade

I like to talk about those moments in life that you don't expect, but that hit you like a handful of extra strength gold bond right out of the shower(refreshing yet a little too intense at the same time). You never know when one of those moments will happen, but when it does you know.

This weekend I was at the Pat Green concert, oh ya Kenny Chesney was there too, and I had one of those moments. It's amazing what the power of song, and the medium of music in general can do to people. It wasn't any special concert, a good one, but nothing spectacular. It was held at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco Texas, one of the first stadiums built just for soccer I might add, and there were 30,000 people packed into this place. I was there for Pat Green but a majority of the crowd was there to see this Chesney cat. He put on a good show and the crowd loved it.

But the thing I'll remember most about this concert was not the artists' who played it nor the music they played but the semblance of perfection that a sold out concert can give to a massive group of blended humanity. Granted this group of people were probably all pretty close demographically, they are still all so different. And in this period of time they (I say they like I wasn't one of them...but of course I was); sang the songs together in unison, cried together at a well orchestrated moving slide show, waived their hands in the air (like they just didn't care--I couldn't resist), swayed back and forth to the music, and they did all these things without anyone telling them to.

At one point of the concert (when it hit me) I just kinda stopped, did a 360 and was in awe of how one man can get 30,000 people to run the gauntlet of emotions within a two hour concert. Music connected these people to events, persons, or memories in their lives so much, that the song didn't have to be about them or their particular situation for them to feel this intense connection sounds...That's really all they are.

So what if we all are that simple, all week we put on this tough guy facade but come Saturday night a 5'6" redneck can bring a large majority of 30,000 to tears? What if we showed this human element throughout the week? What if it was okay to feel so passionate about something, that emotion spewed from your pours? I felt myself choked up at one point, but not because I was sad, but because I felt so united with these complete strangers that I was overwhelmed.

So go out tomorrow, and feel. Feel for something so strongly that it makes your heart beat faster, your blood boil, your eyes glaze over, your fists clinch tight, and your lungs fill with more air than ever before. Live your life not for yourself, but for a reason greater than you. Take that sense of humanity, that 30,000 people felt last weekend, and help bring it to the weekdays...WOW what great things could happen then?

Are you kidding me?

Right now it is 1:15am and it is 90 degrees! What I want to know is hundreds of years ago when there was no industry to keep settlers here as opposed to any other place, why did they stay here? They couldn't have possibly thought..."oh this isn't bad". WTF!

A home, house or here?

I'm taking a study break to bring up a subject I've been thinking about since I went back to Albuquerque last weekend.

On Tuesday afternoon my mom was taking me to the airport so I could catch my plane to Dallas. She said something that really got me thinking. I said "well it's time to go back home" and I was quickly told that "this is your home". It wasn't angry or anything like that, it was in a very loving tone.

So I got to thinking, truly where is my home? Is my home in my apartment in Irving where I lay my head to sleep at night? Is my home in my parents new house, that I only lived in for a year? Is my home a building that just got decimated by the renters that were in it, that I had lived in for my first 18 years of life? Or is it somewhere else? Is there a point in ones life ,where that intangible place we call home changes? Is it a turning point, a year, a promotion, a wife, a death, a birth or does it just happen over time? All these questions and I really don't have an answer yet, even though I've been thinking about it for the last week almost non-stop.

I know my Mom is going to say that my home is there with them, but is it? I don't ever hear her refering to Milwaukee as home (my Dad is a military brat so he's kinda outta the discussion). I guess I just feel that I really don't know where my home is right now (don't get all sad, not in a bad way). I just think that I'm in a sorta limbo. A point I keep going back to in my mind is that when I got back to my apartment Tuesday night my first thought was "ahhh home". I feel comfortable here, not that I didn't anywhere else, I feel like this is a place of my own and who says this can't be home?

Then you have the age old addige of "home is where the heart is". So where is my heart? Right now I am too busy trying to get my MBA and trying to prove my worth at work ,that I don't think my heart rests' anywhere right now. Maybe it's back in Albuquerque or Rio Rancho, or at a particular address, maybe it's with my family, or maybe it's wherever I feel at home. After all home, like I said before, is an intangible place...the unicorn of buildings if you will. So I think I'll continue to contemplate this obscure question (or series of questions), and continue to look for the answer to where exactly my home is...or maybe I'll stop looking...isn't that when you find things anyway??



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