A home, house or here?

I'm taking a study break to bring up a subject I've been thinking about since I went back to Albuquerque last weekend.

On Tuesday afternoon my mom was taking me to the airport so I could catch my plane to Dallas. She said something that really got me thinking. I said "well it's time to go back home" and I was quickly told that "this is your home". It wasn't angry or anything like that, it was in a very loving tone.

So I got to thinking, truly where is my home? Is my home in my apartment in Irving where I lay my head to sleep at night? Is my home in my parents new house, that I only lived in for a year? Is my home a building that just got decimated by the renters that were in it, that I had lived in for my first 18 years of life? Or is it somewhere else? Is there a point in ones life ,where that intangible place we call home changes? Is it a turning point, a year, a promotion, a wife, a death, a birth or does it just happen over time? All these questions and I really don't have an answer yet, even though I've been thinking about it for the last week almost non-stop.

I know my Mom is going to say that my home is there with them, but is it? I don't ever hear her refering to Milwaukee as home (my Dad is a military brat so he's kinda outta the discussion). I guess I just feel that I really don't know where my home is right now (don't get all sad, not in a bad way). I just think that I'm in a sorta limbo. A point I keep going back to in my mind is that when I got back to my apartment Tuesday night my first thought was "ahhh home". I feel comfortable here, not that I didn't anywhere else, I feel like this is a place of my own and who says this can't be home?

Then you have the age old addige of "home is where the heart is". So where is my heart? Right now I am too busy trying to get my MBA and trying to prove my worth at work ,that I don't think my heart rests' anywhere right now. Maybe it's back in Albuquerque or Rio Rancho, or at a particular address, maybe it's with my family, or maybe it's wherever I feel at home. After all home, like I said before, is an intangible place...the unicorn of buildings if you will. So I think I'll continue to contemplate this obscure question (or series of questions), and continue to look for the answer to where exactly my home is...or maybe I'll stop looking...isn't that when you find things anyway??



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