A holiday trilogy. Version 1.0

I have quite a bit to write about but in an effort to not bore the hell out of you in one post, I'll spread my written form of torment over three post in the next few days.

So you say I'm on a break right now huh? Well it is the most intensive break I've ever been a part of. In the last 2 weeks I've worked nearly 100 hours and unfortunately my job in retail is making me begin to dislike Christmas (at least I don't have to deal with customers).

At the pinnacle of thebusy season at work, I feel tired in the time where I should be recharging from school and preparing for my final trimester. I can work a lot of hours that doesn't bother me at all and I can deal with any task you put in front of me, but what is getting to me lately is I'm tired of doing all the thinking. I guess this is the burden a leader takes on. I've always been in leadership roles, whether it's being a captain on one of my many soccer teams, being a manager at work (ever since my first job), or being put in several leadership roles with SAE. For once I would like to not have to do all the thinking in a given situation. I would like it so much if someone could think on their own without me having to spoon feed them direction. Is it so much to ask for a person to care about the tasks they are doing, and feel a sense of self worth when they have completed their task in an exceptional manner?

Now at the same time I understand that part of this is very possibly my fault. When something isn't going right I always try to look at myself first, after all it's usually easier to fix your own faults. What is it that I'm doing as a leader that may be causing my own distress? What practices need to change? Am I too focused? Am I asking for too much? Well you see if I knew the exact answer this blog post probably wouldn't have even existed so, sir I'm fucking clueless sir.

Everyone seems to do the minimal amount of work necessary to get by. Well guess what? In my short work experiences I've noticed that doing the minimal doesn't get you by, it gets you passed by. I don't think I will ever be able to just "exist" in the environments I'm in, be it at work or sports, I just don't work that way. I'm too competitive, I'm too stubborn, I'm...well shit I'm too damn good for that! (and a little arrogant) So I guess I'll keep leading and hopefully I can stumble into a couple free thinkers that can make my days in those leadership roles just a bit easier. And hopefully I'll be able to fine tune my own abilities at the same time. I'll live and I'll be alright, but for now I'm just a bit frustrated.